In the last 6 months I have shared my weight loss story, my surgery and recovery progress, and my plans and goals for the upcoming months. That was all easy.
It's when things are not going great, that they're not so easy to share with the world. But this is it. This is the story of my struggles after weight loss, after surgery. Struggles that, until yesterday morning, I didn't think I could overcome.
After my surgery, I was off work for two weeks. After being back for only a week, I came down with terrible bronchitis and was off for another week. This was still within the 6 weeks expected for full recovery, so it didn't bother me too much, but did set me back a little. The real problem was that I could hardly talk for three full days! Can you imagine?!
Once that was over I started cycling again, doing toning exercises and walking a little. Then, 10 weeks after my neuroma removal I got an infection in my foot. After two days of excruciating shooting pains in my foot, I saw a friend of mine who is an excellent chiropractor, and amazing friend who has helped me immensely from the moment I discovered my neuroma. She confirmed my fears and told me that it was not my muscles or bones causing the pain, and that I very likely had low-grade septicemia.
The next day I saw my G.P. who added to the mix that I had contracted bronchitis again as my body was battling to deal with the infection in my foot and wasn't able to fight off anything else at the same time. I was put onto very strong antibiotics that made my heart pound and head spin. Booked off work again, with strict instructions to rest and keep my foot up as much as possible.
Through all this, I was still paying off the last bills from the hospital and my surgeon, add the doctor's bill and prescription meds, and there's not an awful lot left over. With little money and less inclination to go shopping or do any cooking, all food become what was cheapest and most convenient. Unfortunately these are very rarely the healthy options. While my weight has not drastically increased, it has gone up slightly and has stayed constant since then. Essentially this is not the end of the world, but isn't really ideal either.
Last week, things started to look up. I did some grocery shopping and included only lean protein, fresh fruit and vegetables. I went to my regular yoga class on Monday, and ran 5km's three days in a row. The first run was awful. My chest burned with every exhale, my legs felt heavy and tired, I could hardly run 500m before having to stop to walk. The second and the third got easier, and I'm very impressed with the way my body seemed to ease back into training mode.
Yesterday was a great test for my body and my mind as I entered my first race in over a year. 10km would have been a breeze before, but I was terrified! My mind was not as quick as my body to make the adjustments needed to get through it.
I was very lucky to have the youngest of my two brothers to run with me, and while he has done little to no training, he is light and agile and would probably kick my ass in a race. But he said staying with me was better otherwise he would have no one to talk to. And man, did he talk! We chatted away the entire 10km's, which took us about 1 hour 15mins. Not too bad, since I was looking at between 1 hour 20 and 1 hour 30 minutes. While we chatted I didn't think about my foot, or my breathing or how tired my legs were. We kept a good pace, and walked when we needed to. There was no pressure.
I remembered why I've always enjoyed running. I received praise and cheer from old running club friends, even though I no longer run in their colours. I guess it's true that "Once a Carb, Always a Carb!" It didn't matter how long it took me or who I beat, it mattered that I was out there, that I enjoyed myself and that I did it.
As it turns out, I'm achieving my goals despite the odds against me. Through infection and illness and bad eating, I'm getting there anyway. Possibly a little slower, a little later, and a little heavier than expected. But in the end I've learned to be patient with my body and my mind, and gently encourage them to do the things I want and need them to do. And more importantly, I have a new goal to add to the list, not one that can ever be checked off, but must stay there as a constant reminder:
- Enjoy yourself out there!
No matter what! None of this means anything if I'm going to be miserable, or terrified, or unhappy. I enjoy running, I love the challenge, the race against myself and the camaraderie of everyone else out there attempting the same thing, just to get to that finish line. This may be the most important thing I've learnt through this whole experience, and I am so grateful for that.
Wishing you all a happy and healthy week.
Peace, Love and Running Shoes.
Claire
xx
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