My Yoga Practice

After a little searching, I finally found a yoga class in Pietermaritzburg that didn't require a gym membership to sign up.  That was at the beginning of this year.

Up until a few weeks before my op, when my foot was in too much pain to put any pressure at all on the ball of it, I went to classes religiously every week.

I loved the challenge, I loved feeling I was getting stronger and better and most of all, I loved the feeling of calm and being present in the moment that each class gave me.

Some classes were difficult, some things I couldn't do at first, even the easier stuff.  But we all have to start somewhere, and thankfully our class had a lot of beginners, so we were all in the same boat.

About 2 months after my op I returned to yoga, and although was no where near where I left off, I could still feel strength in my body, and I have worked hard to maintain it.

Yesterday I did a shoulder stand without using momentum to get my legs up in the air.  I used my core and slowly lifted them from the floor to having my knees bent in front of my face, and finally to straight up in the air.  It felt good, awesome in fact, that I trusted my body could get there and it did.

We have also been playing around with some headstand preparation, and I can now get my torso up with my legs bent, balancing on my own (it's best to start out by a wall so not to injure yourself).  It's incredible to be upside down and not leaning against anything!  When I lift my legs I fall over backwards, but that's besides the point.  I'll get there!

That second step is where I'm at right now.
Image: source

At the start of each practice we are told to set an intention, for the practice itself and also for going out into the world afterwards.  I like to always include "to have fun" or "to enjoy myself" into this intention, because that is what I am there for really.  I spend a lot of the class smiling away to myself like a mad woman, but that's ok.

Yesterday was a particularly good class for me.  A lot of hip work, which for some reason I'm pretty good at, but it gave me a lot of reasons to smile, and a few reasons to giggle silently to myself. Bare in mind that yoga is a practice for clearing your mind and focusing on each pose and being in the present, while I share with you:

Thoughts I Have in Yoga Class

1.  "What should I have for dinner?  I wonder if that lettuce in the fridge is still ok, or should I go to the supermarket on the way home?"

2.  "Oh hey, my back just clicked!  That felt good :)"

3.  "Wow!  That chick is really good at that.  I wonder how long she's been doing yoga"

4.  "I could actually bite my toenails if I really wanted to.  Not that I want to... But if I did, I could totally reach"

5.  "I wonder if I bit my toenails as a kid.  I don't remember doing it, and damn, I hope not!  Gross!"

6.  "Ow!  That hurts!  Ok, just breath, she can't make us hold this pose for much longer... surely... come on!  Please can we relax now?  Ahh... finally!  Thank you!!"

7. " That's a nice shirt/shoes/*insert random clothing article*, I wonder where she got it"

8.  "If I keep my running pace under 8 minute per kilometer, I could easily finish a half marathon in under 3 hours."

9.  "I wonder what everyone else is thinking about."

10.  "Ok, focus on the present, just be in the moment... Perhaps I should make plans for Friday night... No, concentrate!  Focus on your breathing... In... Out... In... Out... I wonder what other people are doing this weekend?  Dammit!!"

Needless to say, my mind doesn't really do quiet.  And when there is a brief moment when I get it all to shut down, it's like there's just space for more thoughts and they come flooding back.  It's a losing battle really!

Source

Wishing you a happy weekend, with perhaps just a few peaceful moments in your own mind.

Namaste

Claire

xx

The Last Leg of Recovery

In the last 6 months I have shared my weight loss story, my surgery and recovery progress, and my plans and goals for the upcoming months.  That was all easy.

It's when things are not going great, that they're not so easy to share with the world.  But this is it.  This is the story of my struggles after weight loss, after surgery.  Struggles that, until yesterday morning, I didn't think I could overcome.

After my surgery, I was off work for two weeks.  After being back for only a week, I came down with terrible bronchitis and was off for another week.  This was still within the 6 weeks expected for full recovery, so it didn't bother me too much, but did set me back a little.  The real problem was that I could hardly talk for three full days!  Can you imagine?!

Once that was over I started cycling again, doing toning exercises and walking a little.  Then, 10 weeks after my neuroma removal I got an infection in my foot.  After two days of excruciating shooting pains in my foot, I saw a friend of mine who is an excellent chiropractor, and amazing friend who has helped me immensely from the moment I discovered my neuroma.  She confirmed my fears and told me that it was not my muscles or bones causing the pain, and that I very likely had low-grade septicemia.

The next day I saw my G.P. who added to the mix that I had contracted bronchitis again as my body was battling to deal with the infection in my foot and wasn't able to fight off anything else at the same time.  I was put onto very strong antibiotics that made my heart pound and head spin.  Booked off work again, with strict instructions to rest and keep my foot up as much as possible.

Through all this, I was still paying off the last bills from the hospital and my surgeon, add the doctor's bill and prescription meds, and there's not an awful lot left over.  With little money and less inclination to go shopping or do any cooking, all food become what was cheapest and most convenient.  Unfortunately these are very rarely the healthy options.  While my weight has not drastically increased, it has gone up slightly and has stayed constant since then.  Essentially this is not the end of the world, but isn't really ideal either.

Last week, things started to look up.  I did some grocery shopping and included only lean protein, fresh fruit and vegetables.  I went to my regular yoga class on Monday, and ran 5km's three days in a row.  The first run was awful.  My chest burned with every exhale, my legs felt heavy and tired, I could hardly run 500m before having to stop to walk.  The second and the third got easier, and I'm very impressed with the way my body seemed to ease back into training mode.

Yesterday was a great test for my body and my mind as I entered my first race in over a year.  10km would have been a breeze before, but I was terrified!  My mind was not as quick as my body to make the adjustments needed to get through it.

I was very lucky to have the youngest of my two brothers to run with me, and while he has done little to no training, he is light and agile and would probably kick my ass in a race.  But he said staying with me was better otherwise he would have no one to talk to.  And man, did he talk!  We chatted away the entire 10km's, which took us about 1 hour 15mins.  Not too bad, since I was looking at between 1 hour 20 and 1 hour 30 minutes.  While we chatted I didn't think about my foot, or my breathing or how tired my legs were. We kept a good pace, and walked when we needed to.  There was no pressure.

I remembered why I've always enjoyed running.  I received praise and cheer from old running club friends, even though I no longer run in their colours.  I guess it's true that "Once a Carb, Always a Carb!"  It didn't matter how long it took me  or who I beat, it mattered that I was out there, that I enjoyed myself and that I did it.

As it turns out, I'm achieving my goals despite the odds against me.  Through infection and illness and bad eating, I'm getting there anyway.  Possibly a little slower, a little later, and a little heavier than expected.  But in the end I've learned to be patient with my body and my mind, and gently encourage them to do the things I want and need them to do.  And more importantly, I have a new goal to add to the list, not one that can ever be checked off, but must stay there as a constant reminder:

-  Enjoy yourself out there!

No matter what!  None of this means anything if I'm going to be miserable, or terrified, or unhappy.  I enjoy running, I love the challenge, the race against myself and the camaraderie of everyone else out there attempting the same thing, just to get to that finish line.  This may be the most important thing I've learnt through this whole experience, and I am so grateful for that.

Wishing you all a happy and healthy week.

Peace, Love and Running Shoes.

Claire
xx